I can’t believe that it has been over a year since my last post and like everyone else I blame the COVID19 pandemic. At that time I was advising everyone to get their work/life balance in order. I had made big plans to take time for me going forward and had planned a girlfriend getaway. Well, I did the girlfriend’s getaway luckily because after that the pandemic really hit our shores and we started to experience life as we had never in our lifetimes seen it before.
Suddenly we are all living in some weird version of the movie “Contagion”. Having wine or coffee with the girls is a thing of the past. Being the last people to leave the venue because you were so deep in conversation or laughing so hard or just dancing to the music and having the staff put up tables, pack away chairs, turn down the music with you still there is now nothing but a memory. Let us not talk about getting dressed up. Complimenting each other on shoes, hair, bags, clothes all those little things that help to show that you are paying attention.. “wait, girl, your other half see you before you leave home?” Or “Oooh I like it (bag, clothes, shoes, lipstick colour)” Or even “you have to try this (dip, bread, steak, martini)”. Those little rituals are now preceded by “remember when….” And this is not only in our private lives but also in our professional. I always felt that if I could go to work in a more casual look it would be great. Now I pray for the days when I can put on my “out clothes” or in other words my dress-up clothes, with my heels, and leave the house. When I put on those outfits, and I include the make-up and styled hair with the bag and shoe combination as a part of the outfit, I feel a different version of me come to the fore. And before anyone jumps up and down, I know that clothes don’t make the person but it makes me feel better. To each his own.
Complete lockdowns are happening across the world and some people are confined to the four walls of their home. Are we really surprised that mental health issues are on the rise? I love my family dearly but do I want to spend every moment of every day with them? Really…no. And don’t bother to lie, neither do any of you who are reading this. We all need space at some time, we all need other people to have discussions with and share or disagree with about different perspectives.
Then let us add in the other dynamics. Working from home and children going to school online is the new normal and let me tell you this has a different set of problems. Everyone in the house at the same time trying to work. I now have more devices in my home than I would have thought would ever happen. Everyone has a mobile handset, which is the new norm, everyone also has a laptop and all of the adults have a tablet. Our lives are now centered around the digital and virtual. I check my son’s assignments and attendance online. Last week I text my son to turn off the lights. Yes because we were both still online and that was the equivalent of when I use to say go to bed.
Then we have domestic issues. Food that used to last a month is now gone in a week and the lines at the grocery store are wrapped around the building every single day, smh. Did I tell you that I live in the land of the giants with the corresponding appetites? Well, I do or it feels as if I do. I have always been told that perception is reality
But I digress, I started to speak about the work/life balance that is out of alignment and the virtual meetings that have taken over our lives. We can no longer leave our offices a couple of minutes early for a meeting so that we can stop and purchase that lifesaving cup of coffee or tea, or shut off our computers and say that the day is finished. No, because now our offices are our bedrooms/dining rooms/kitchens and the meetings are on Zoom, MS Teams, Cisco Webex, Google Meet or one of the many virtual platforms and everyone seems to have access to your calendar.
So what do we do? We grab on to the little things that we can control and try to make our lives our own again. Because let’s be truthful, how we handle this pandemic, that has impacted everyone, depends on the kind of support systems we have like friends and family. A friend said to me recently that the lines at the grocery stores are a reflection of the fact that this is something the individual can control and so they do. When going to the grocery store is one of the few things that you can control in a world that is spinning out of wack……..
So again I have to ask, what do we do? Get together with your friends on zoom etc I was told but let’s be honest I am tired of sitting in front of my laptop every damn day. And when you are confined to the boundaries of your curtilage (love this word) then what? When the beach that was your go-to spot for relaxing is now closed, then what? Go back to talking on the phone? Sounds interesting. Read a book or watch a movie, okay sounds better. Spend time developing a hobby or learning something new. Find ways to exercise. Okay, all good suggestions.
Whatever you finally decide to do, do it with gusto. Try to find the little things that make you happy. Introduce or reintroduce a games night for the family. Cook with the children, play in the yard, run around in the rain or just sit and breathe. Just do something for yourself.
Me, I am sitting here drinking my coffee and just breathing under my mango tree. See you soon.